


Angel's Trumpet

by Xaviers_protege



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Massive fix-it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 13:50:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5208215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xaviers_protege/pseuds/Xaviers_protege
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He seems quite taken with you, Mr Lupin.” There was an amused smile to accompany the words. Remus looked up from the child, whose tiny hand waved in an exploratory fashion. The small fist hit (though barely felt like a tap) the werewolf’s chin and he glanced back down. “I have been convinced. If there is anything we have learned from your devotion to each other, it is that family is more than blood. It would be the biggest shame of all in this dark situation for Harry to be separated from those who love him.”</p><p>“So,” Remus started, “Molly will take him?” Hope quickly blossomed inside of him much like a rekindled flame after it has gone out. The woman in question had brighter mien and stood up taller, with purpose.</p><p>“Not quite.”</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Remus Lupin finally realises he's not alone with the help of baby Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angel's Trumpet

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the Datura flower, also known as a Moonflower.

The moon. It was once his greatest fear. It harboured nothing good; only pain, blinding and intense, and guilt, nauseating and crippling. It was a permanent reminder of his failings as a friend, as a brother, and as a human.

But that was just it, wasn’t it? He wasn’t human. He was a werewolf; murderous and rabid, untamed and bloodthirsty. More the fool him for believing he was anything but, right?

Remus Lupin no longer feared the moon. He welcomed the pain, embracing it as if it were an old friend. He wished for it most other nights when he lay alone, his small flat silent with loneliness and despair. All of his joy had been stolen from him on that fateful Halloween night in 1981. Everyone he loved had been stolen away in a single moment, whether by the cold hand of death or the burning pierce of betrayal.

James, Lily, Peter – all of them _dead._ And Sirius…what could he say about Sirius? The one he had trusted most of all, the one he had loved with all of his soul and being. His betrayal had crushed his heart, breaking it into a million irreparable pieces.

So where was he when it all happened? Where could Remus Lupin possibly have been when his friends were so needlessly slaughtered? On a fucking _assignment_.

And so, as he sat in Dumbledore’s office, his face blank and vacant as he stared at the tiny bundle in Molly Weasley’s arms, he vowed to himself that he would do anything to prevent this from repeating. He would protect what little he had left and he would make sure he was never distracted like that again.

* * *

 

“You want to do what?” Molly’s shrill voice questioned incredulously. “Petunia? You know the woman is a devil, and don’t get me started on that husband of hers.” The little swaddled roll that was nestled in the crook of her neck, and was cradled warmly in her arms, began to stir and made a noise as if about to cry out at the pitch of the woman’s voice. Molly immediately became distracted and started cooing. It was a sound that seemed to echo through the stillness of the room; after the activity of the war, four adults gathered in the office of Albus Dumbledore debating heatedly the future of a single child seemed like relative peace.

“She is his only living family, Molly.” It was a valid point, Remus thought as his heart ached at the reminder of his – of _their_ – losses. “He needs to be with his family.” The headmaster stated wisely. Minerva, (Oh, how Remus still felt uncomfortable using his old teacher’s given name even after a few years), hummed in agreement beside him.

“But they are vile people, Albus. If it were up to them, Harry would know nothing about his heritage; he’d know nothing of his parents. James and Lily deserve their boy to be with his family, but they also deserve to be remembered. We are more his family than they will ever be.”

“It is true, Albus.” Remus piped up, his voice rough from disuse. “I have met Petunia and she and Lily did not get along. And that is in the nicest of terms. The woman utterly despises magic. I wouldn’t be surprised if Harry grew up with either a distaste of magic, or remained completely unaware.”

Molly nodded in agreement and a pregnant quietness befell them as they thought upon the situation. It really was a harrowing atmosphere; grief clung to the air like a miasma seeping through their senses and desperation clawed at their minds, begging them for a decision they could not possibly make unbiasedly.

“There is no other option, Molly.” The elder witch looked at the red head with sympathy and understanding, imploring the other to do the same.

“I have six other children; I am the most capable person to look after Harry. More so than his so called ‘family’.”

“Yes, and that is six other children to look after. I don’t want to insult you, Molly, but you are not in the best financial situation. I wish dearly that we could allow you to take him; we know you would give him the best care and you would love him as if he were your own.”

Remus could feel his heart beating rapidly as anxiety began to build up inside. This was it. He was about to lose everything. The finality of it all was crashing down on him, crushing him under an imaginary weight which he, even with his werewolf strength, could not lift. “What will happen to us? To James and Lily’s memory? You know they will destroy that, and that they will make it so he doesn’t know of their courage, of their kindness.” He stood and his eyes flashed with gold. “They hated Lily and they will hate Harry. To send him there would be to, to sully their sacrifice. Their deaths would be in vain!”

“We understand your concern, Remus, but-”

“Clearly you do not understand!” He breathed heavily as his anguish and irritation boiled over. “James and Lily are gone. Peter is dead and Sirius betrayed us. This boy is all I have left to a life worth living and I will not hand him over to people who would misuse him and warp his mind to fear our kind – _his_ kind.”

The others in the room stood in shocked silence and took in his words. “They were my _friends._ ” He said brokenly.

The boy in question started to babble, completely unaware of the mood of the room. Remus looked at him and felt a bittersweet melancholy as he stared into the familiar green eyes. He was the perfect mix of his parents having seemingly inherited their best features, such as said eyes, or his scruffy, black hair which was so characteristic of James that Remus wanted to cry.

Molly looked between the child and the werewolf and, with a smile that bordered on a grimace, moved to hand the boy to Remus. Despite his momentary shock, he quickly brought his arms around to hold Harry. He was a comfortable weight in his arms and the boy’s prattling brought a genuine, uncontrolled smile to his face. He could feel the wolf inside of him settle as it smelled its friends - its pack - on the child’s clothes.

Albus and Minerva shared a look. They seemed to communicate wordlessly; Albus’ eyes flickered brightly with a new idea which contrasted to Minerva’s sceptical gaze as she read his expression, knowing almost accurately what he was thinking.

With a deep breath and an air of caution he began. “He seems quite taken with you, Mr Lupin.” There was an amused smile to accompany the words. Remus looked up from the child, whose tiny hand waved in an exploratory fashion. The small fist hit (though barely felt like a tap) the werewolf’s chin and he glanced back down. “I have been convinced. If there is anything we have learned from your devotion to each other, it is that family is more than blood. It would be the biggest shame of all in this dark situation for Harry to be separated from those who love him.”

“So,” Remus started, “Molly will take him?” Hope quickly blossomed inside of him much like a rekindled flame after it has gone out. The woman in question had brighter mien and stood up taller, with purpose.

“Not quite.”

Optimism dashed, the two slumped and looked sadly at the boy.

“We were rather thinking that you would take him.”

Remus froze. He was caught so off guard that he didn’t even register Molly’s surprised gasp or Harry’s sudden grip on his lengthened hair. “What?” He said breathily as if he didn’t believe the wizard in front of him that he respected with all of his heart and owed with all of his soul. As if he didn’t believe the one man who seemed to believe in Remus after everything. He stood slowly, the shock awakening an energy he didn’t know he had left in him.

“You can’t – I can’t – _Me?!”_ It was raspy; out of breath like he’d had the air taken from his lungs. “I can’t look after a child. I can barely look after myself.”

“On the contrary, Mr Lupin, you are the only one who can look after this child.” Albus walked so that he was stood in front of the man who had been through so much in his twenty-one years.

A bitter laugh escaped Remus as he moved away from the professor. “I have no money, no job, _few friends left,_ and this bloody lycanthropy curse that makes me maul anything in my path. I am physically incapable of looking after a child. So please don’t insult my intelligence.”

Minerva stepped forward. “Then don’t insult ours, Mr Lupin. We may be older than you, but we are not senile, nor naïve.” She chastised sternly, showing her offense. “You would have access to the Potters’ fund as Harry’s guardian. Their money has been left to the boy, but he will not be fully entitled until he comes of age. This also means that employment-wise you would not be under any duress to find a job.”

“As for your lycanthropy, I am sure Mrs Weasley would be more than willing to accommodate the boy every month until we can find some sort of…alleviation.” Molly nodded her agreement.

Remus felt cornered. He held Harry in his arms as his last comfort in this moment of decisiveness. On the one hand, they gave fair, practical arguments, but he couldn’t get over his self-loathing. He was a monster with the capability of tearing families apart like it did to his own, and here he was; being asked to _create a family_. The juxtaposition of these ideals made his head and heart hurt.

The breath he took was deep and shaky. Closing his eyes tightly, as if in pain, he handed Harry to the older wizard in front of him and pulled away just as quickly. “I – I have to think on this. I have to – have to think, I can’t _think.”_ He stuttered, his breathing shallow and panicked. He fled the room rapidly and ran, not thinking at all about where he was headed.

 It must have been muscle memory that took him there, but he ended up outside the Castle and leant against the wall. He rested his head against the stone and tried to breathe, but to his dismay he couldn’t. Breaking completely, he let out rough sob that would have been painful to even have heard, let alone felt, and sank to the ground. He was so tired and he hadn’t properly grieved for his friends - _for James and Lily and Peter_ \- and so the emotions poured through him like a powerful wave, drowning him and dragging him down to the bottom of his ocean of self-loathing and loneliness.

Remus was startled out of his bubble of sorrow by a hand on his shoulder. Molly looked at him with a sympathetic gaze and her grip tightened. He took it for what it was – a tether, a physical manifestation of her offer of friendship and comfort – and leant in towards her. She cradled him in her arms, much like she did with Harry earlier as his head nestled in the crook of her neck.

“How can I do this?” He asked her after a short while. His cries had softened to short whimpers as he finally pulled air into his lungs.

“You’re strong, Remus.” She replied simply. “Even after everything, you’re still here.”

“And they’re not.” He let out what could have been interpreted as a laugh. “After everything, after all the promises we made to each other to come out of this alive, why am _I_ the one who is still here?” He tugged himself out of Molly’s clutch and stared at her eyes. “Did you know that I thought I was lying when we made that promise? I had convinced myself that Greyback would find out about my activities with the Order and that he would kill me. I believed that it would be James and Sirius and Peter who would find a way to live without me.

“I had _never_ thought I would lose all of them. That I would have to find somehow to carry on without James’ words of encouragement, or Sirius’ bad flirting, or Lily’s sweet compliments. I even miss Peter’s offerings of food after every full moon.” He stared into space, lost in his memories. His face crumpled in distress as he thought on. “I’ve lost everything, Molly.”

“No, dear. It may seem that way, but it’s not all gone. There’s Harry, see? He’s here and he’s waiting for you.”

“I can’t take him. I’m not capable of looking after him.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” She raised herself from the ground and jerked on his shirt. “Come on. I promise you, you may feel horrible now, but if you deny yourself this – if you deny _him_ this - you’ll feel even worse.”

“No, no, Molly, I _can’t._ It hurts too much to see him. How can he look so much like them? He’s just a baby. How..?” He trailed off, desperation clawing under his skin in a way reminiscent to the wolf on the mornings of the moon.

“That’s the thing, Remus. He’s just a baby.” She sighed, suddenly exhausted. “Albus and Minerva are right; I can’t afford another child, not if he stays permanently. But, if you don’t take him, he’ll have to go to his aunt. You said it yourself; she’ll turn him against our kind.”

Remus let out a desperate noise. “I’m a monster.” It was said quietly, but without conviction.

“If you really believed that, you wouldn’t feel like one.” She hugged him to her tightly. “You are not – and never will be – a monster. Now, let’s make our way back; you’ve got a baby to look after.”

* * *

 

“I’ll do it.”

* * *

 


End file.
